University of Virginia Library

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6

[Then I with kicking set my heeles to horse]

Then I with kicking set my heeles to horse,
Advent'ring to ride through it force perforce:
My guides misguiding made me much the bolder,
The horse fell in, quite plung'd up to the shoulder.
I forward fell, and backward fell the Maid,
Man, Maide, and horse in curious pickle laid,
And never Eare did heare, or Eye did see
Such a pair-Royall faire Triplicity.

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7

The danger past, we each on other gaping;
Not angry, or well pleas'd, we fell to scraping:
Sometimes we fretted, and our lips did bite,
And sometimes (at our selves) we laught out right.
I scrapt my selfe, the Maide, the Hostler drest,
The Horse lookt on, uncurried like a beast.
Thus we to Newport came in gay attire,
Embrodred over all with dirt and mire:
And thus from Cowes we tumbled in the slowes,
Man, Maide, and horse, moil'd like three beastly sowes:
'Twas my base guide that put me in this trim,
For which abuse Ile have a bout with him:
The Divell misleades us all, we plainely see,
And that same stinking Hostler misled me.

For which:

First in a Knaves skinne I will wrap him hot,
Which he shall alwaies weare until it rot:
My prayer for him shall be this execration,
Let him be nasty in his occupation:
Oh let his provender be ever musty,
His hay be most distastfull, foule, and dusty:
His Pease, and Beanes, and Oates most odious fusty,
And's curry combe (for want of use) be rusty:
Thus musty, dusty, fusty, rusty, crusty,
Shall plague the Knave that was to me untrusty.
In Vrine, and Beasts Ordure let him toile:
Soile be his trade, yet nere be Lord oth' soile.
Let boot haling be most part of his living:
Let Guests be sparing to him in their giving:
Vnder his Rack let him in tortures lye,
And (in his Manger) let him stinke and dye:
And let the preaching Cobler at Blackwall
Be 3 houres prating at his funerall:
Let him be grav'd in his owne Element:
Let litter, and horse dung be his monument.

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8

But leaving riff raff rime, Ile turne my stile,
To some more serious businesse in the Isle.
Thus having overpast this foule disaster,
I went to see my suffring Soveraigne Master:
Which sight to me was all my Earthly blisse,
He gave me straight his Royall hand to kisse,
Which grac'd me much in all the publique sights
Of Commons, Gentles, and brave Lords and Knights.